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I have always been a news nerd. I want to be in the know and be aware of what is happening in my neighbourhood, my country, and the world. I consider it a responsibility to keep myself informed. I had all the news channels and I would have one of them running in the background while I was doing chores around the house. I’ve always been a subscriber to the local newspaper wherever I live. It has been that way for as far back as I can remember. As a young kid I even delivered those newspapers.

When I was a long haired 1970’s spaced out teenager I had opinions about politics and the world that my friends thought were antithetical to the way I looked and behaved. I’ve always thought it was important to stay informed. I still do but it’s getting very difficult to digest without causing myself some damage. There’s a certain amount of anxiety that goes along with that knowledge – especially in these very dangerous times when disinformation is disseminated without safety for those whom disagree.

My neighbour wants to cross my property line and take the vegetables from my garden. He says the line is imaginary. He says he wants them and he’ll try to destroy me if I don’t let him take them. If he’s hungry I will give him some but that’s not what he really wants. I thought we were friends and I’ve always helped him when he needed me. What will he do next.

It is important for my own health to take time to divest from all that stress and return to zero. My practice allows me to do that but it’s not as easy as it used to be. It takes a ritual to get to the point where I can start. So that I’m ready as I can be to enjoy the benefits of what I hope is about to happen. I hope not to be thinking about all those worries that surround me from external and or internal sources.

Ritual has a sound of something ancient that is baked in some rich cultural ancestry. But it doesn’t have to be. It can be a simple repetitive process that prepares you for a successful practice. Successful probably means something different for you than me. For me it’s simple. I want to feel comfortable doing the asanas while breathing calmly. If those two elements happen then divesting can begin. While on my mat the world and all its problems fade away. (If there is something deeply personal then nothing works until the issue is resolved).

Because I home practice my ritual has changed. When I get up (varies) I drink a glass of water go downstairs turn on the baseboard heater and head back upstairs. I will read while an hour passes by and then head downstairs and get on my mat. I stand purposely at Samasthitih (equal standing) push my feet into the mat and bring prayer hands up to my face. I take three calm slow breaths. Then AUM, chant the Sanskrit invocation, then AUM again.

Yes prayer hands bothered me at first because it’s opposite of who I am. But it’s a process and how I was taught which I’m very thankful. That is why I do it – it’s an acknowledgment of my teachers and my teachers teachers. I do it with honour.

Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) is the beginning of my asana practice and my first opportunity to breathe with movement. The amount of asanas that follow can vary but it is mostly consistent. Pranayama finishes off practice then rest is required.

I’m very lucky that I was taught a process to temporarily free myself of life’s hard parts. It helps keep me mentally healthy. Twelve years ago I’m sure that was not part of my endeavour when I first started. I had no intention of being here where I am now and had no idea how valuable those lessens would be.

I sign off many of my posts with the Sanskrit word Ahimsa which means to cause no harm to others or oneself. At this moment the world and my neighbour seems to be hell bent on doing the opposite of that. Practice takes care of me which allows me to take care of someone else. Imagine a world if we all did that.

Be love

Did I write that

Occasionally I look at the back end of this blog to see what you are reading. The system allows me to see that info and from what area of the world you are logging on from. It amazes me how far reaching this little tiny blog goes around this planet.

I started this blog over five years ago and it is interesting that some of you are reading stories about me practicing Ashtanga Yoga as far back as twelve years ago. It’s informational for me because I have changed how I practice. I’m still committed but my commitment is much more aware. There is a certain knowledge and maturity that exists while I’m on my mat that was not there back then. I’ve progressed without intention. And it is reassuring that I’m still getting on my mat and travelling through that set series of asanas. Even as I live with MS and all the baggage that entails.

But I’ve learned to just get on the mat, and see where it takes me. That is different from when I first started. It is slightly nuanced by how I think about what I am accomplishing. The accomplishment is the act itself. It’s not about how many asanas or how long I practice for it’s about I’m here on my mat seeing where today takes me. The rest takes care of itself. I don’t prejudge myself I don’t make assumptions of what I can accomplish today I just start.

It’s an optimistic kinder approach to the process. It’s different because I’ve learned that if I don’t practice; my MS gets worse. Over the years and in my previous stories I’ve written about my discoveries as I continued my practice. The physical benefits are outwardly noticeable. I can prove I’m stronger and more flexible. That my memory is actually available and works. That I’m more calm and more confident in terms of attitudes, opinions, and encounters. I know who I am, I know what works, and that is expressed on and off the mat. It’s a basic knowledge of my own capabilities, how far I go into the practice, and the twelve years of continuing to express myself on my mat. It’s as if my will is generated from a deeper calmer inner peace. It’s a way different feel and that is a learned experience from when I first started.

I believe part of that is due to Pranayama. It is now a totally integrated part of my practice. It’s no longer an afterthought or add on as it was back then. It has become natural, normal, and necessary. I don’t think about it as separate any more it’s part of my practice. My breath is getting deeper, slower, and longer. My lung capacity is definitely improving. It’s another subtlety that is improving without intent. It’s an inner peace that self generates.

So if you read those past stories be aware that I was and am still on a journey. I am still learning and getting more comfortable with where I am on my mat and in life. They are by-products of each other. This all may sound overly deep and somewhat unsubstantiated but twelve years ago I started a process to improve myself physically. It’s a journey that I continue to take and I continue to write about. But as you can see it is much much more than just physical.

And to answer the question: yes I did write that and where I was then is not where I am now. The difference is that now, I believe in the why.

Ahimsa

It’s all relative(s)

Even though I’m not a religious person I still enjoy Christmas festivities. The house is decorated inside and out, family are around more often, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, flowers are blooming – it’s an all around happy time of year. Some of those descriptors are not true but you get the idea it’s mostly a fun time.

One of my six kids is a Registered Nurse(RN) and works with addicts and the disadvantaged that mostly live on the streets. She has saved lives and seen lives lost. It’s a very tough job with great highs and some terrible lows. Sometimes she works outreach meaning she goes out on the streets looking for people to help. She is tough as nails and soft as butter but is comfortable and confident with being in that environment where I am most definitely not.

I have a Narcan kit in my car along with my first aid kit. My daughter taught me how to use it but I really don’t know how I’d perform in such a situation. I’d be scared and for sure my heart rate would be through the roof.

At this time of the year it’s kinda hard to think about those whom have less without thinking about how blessed I am. I’m warm, I’m home, I’m comfortable, I’m with family, I’m incredibly lucky. I deal with the daily crap that MS can muster but when I look at that big picture; there is nothing absolutely nothing for me to complain about.

I think about if I was homeless with MS I’d probably be dead by now. Access to medical personnel and medications would be difficult at best. Imagine having to do something as simple as making and showing up for a Doctors appointment. You’d have to be able to keep track of days and time and be able to get to where you need to be.

And let’s say I actually get the meds how do I store them, keep them from going bad, getting lost, or stolen. How do I find comfort on those days when MS is doing its worst. How do I get rest when I need it where do I go to find a place to just be. How do I protect myself from others in such a state.

MS does its business on me but I have support, a roof over my head, food and comfort. At this time of year I think more about those that don’t and that’s what Christmas is really about right. Not just thinking about it but doing something. What can I do to make that persons life just a little bit better, especially now.

MS is a reason to feel distraught and pessimistic about life and what lays ahead. But I don’t because I know I’m way better off even with whatever ails me. There are so many that are in far worse situations and I am able do something to help.

And as I wrote this story I could not figure out how to end it. It took me a long time trying to write this last paragraph. I wanted it to have a positive outcome without making it look like I’m a better person than I am. That is as honest as I can be. I aspire to be that person but currently I am not. I’m just an average person who has come to the conclusion I need to do more.

Ahimsa

How I was taught

I first started my Ashtanga journey with three amazing teachers two of whom owned the studio where I first started. It was in an old building on Johnson Street in downtown Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. It was a good sized room, place for about thirty or so mats.

Ashtanga teachers often travel back and forth to Mysore, India to hone their practice and teaching skills with the lineage holder. The two owners of the studio would often go together and leave the third teacher to hold the fort so to speak. And visa versa.

In the beginning I had no understanding of what was happening when the teachers would disappear for one to three months at a time. It was not something that I concerned myself with as this was all new to me. As I learned more about the Ashtanga practice and how seriously it is contemplated I developed a deep respect for what I was learning and how I was being taught. I felt as though I’m learning something more than just a bunch of asanas.

I was taught how to breathe and over time this became intuitive. In my opinion breathing correctly is the most important part of the practice. It allows the spirit to participate in the benefits of the physical requirements. If I can still my body and my mind at the same time that is my form of bliss and the breath is the glue.

Consider breathing quickly without control how do you feel. Agitated, rushed, impatient, occupied. Now consider breathing slowly, deeply, calmly how do you feel. I feel in control, relaxed, calm. If you are in an asana that requires strength or flexibility which method do you think allows efficient more effective completion.

And to be honest it does not happen immediately. I went through the quick shallow loud breaths when I first started. My experience was that I needed to build up the physical part before the breathing part became comfortable. That’s where patience comes in. I got to the point where the more I was in control of my breathing the more relaxed I was in the asana. And the more I was in control of the asana the more relaxed I was in my breathing. One needs the other to be successful.

I was extremely fortunate to be taught Pranayama by Jeff my first teacher. I was honoured to be taught this practice which I maintain to this day. In fact it has become more prominent in my daily practice.

My teachers; Jeff, Harmony, and Rachel always displayed deep respect for what they were taught and how they taught it. I appreciated that knowledge that was passed on to me and I feel comfortable with how it resonates. It has become intuitive, calming, and beneficial. I now know and appreciate something that is mine. It’s been passed on to me and I know what to do with it. It feels good to have learned a practice that has been passed down and I can trace it back to the source. I am truly thankful.

As most if not all Ashtanga Yoga practitioners are aware by now that the lineage holder of Ashtanga Yoga R. Sharath Jois passed away this past Monday. I never met him or had the opportunity to travel to India to study Ashtanga at its source. My teachers made many trips to study under his tutelage and I was a recipient of that knowledge. My teachers honoured his teachings by faithfully passing them onto me and to many many many others.

Parampara is a Sanskrit word that means an uninterrupted row or series, order, succession, continuation, mediation, or tradition. I am a part of that continuation and I’m very grateful and fortunate to have been taught a small sliver of his teachings.

Ahimsa

Side Benefit

Underneath my bed there lies a scale
This story it tells, is quite a tale
Six months ago I became plant based
Today I tell you, of that I’ve embraced

Jackfruit, tempeh new foods that I eat
Beans, peas, lentils, I eat on repeat
Protein a concern they do the trick
But loaded with carbs that’s why I’m so thick

Ten pounds I’ve gained believe it or not
However you look at it that is a lot
The few times I’ve practiced compounds this gain
Some plant foods I eat, I think I’ll refrain

However this journey it has been good
With all this fibre I’ve understood
The regular trips I make to that room
Some say vegan, I say zoom

Six months in, I’m still on track
I don’t see a reason that I will go back
So on I go as I find my way
I’ve checked my b12 and it is ok

So if you join me I think you will find
This planet you live on will pay back in kind
The weight I’ve gained it’s not just for show
This planet we live on, it feels good to know

What music reveals

If you want me to feel sad, play Claire de lune(1)
If you want me to dance, play Harvest Moon(2)
If you want me to cry, play Both Sides Now(3)
If you want me to sing, play Wrapped(4)
If you want me to play, play Without You(5)
If you want me to be happy, play As It Was(6)
If you want me to remember one night, play 1979(7)
If you want me to feel free, play She Sells Sanctuary(8)
If you want me to just be, play More Than This(9)
If you want me to Canadian you, play Case Of You(10)
If you want me to worm, play Shout(11)
If you want me to remember mom, play Unforgettable(12)
If you want me to remember dad, play Beethoven’s 5th(13)
If you want me to enjoy words, play Bobcaygeon(14)
If you want me to show a part of my soul, play Wolves(15)
If you want me to reveal myself…

(1)Claude Debussy,(2)Neil Young,(3)Joni Mitchell,(4)George Strait,(5)Doobie Brothers,(6)Harry Styles,(7)Smashing Pumpkins,(8)The Cult,(9)Roxy Music,(10)Diana Krall’s live in Paris version,(11)Isley Brothers,(12)Nat King Cole,(13)Ludwig van Beethoven,(14)Tragically Hip,(15)Big Wreck

Untie the knot

Defy what is happening
Enjoy what it brings
Nothing’s for granted
Ohh the heart sings
Under the cloak we bear our soul
Everything’s everything but
Moves from control
Enlist, engage, employ where it goes
Neither life nor love can thrive on its own
Thus we return, you have always known

Look for progress not perfection

That phrase or its essence is something I’ve read several times in various books or articles and it encapsulates my existence. This is how I interpret those words.

Perfection is the killer of progress.

Perfection is the enemy, it’s unattainable, it does not exist, and it’s used as a tool to destroy hope. Perfection is the I-told-you-so-persons ammunition.

Ok Dave tell me what you really think – ha.

Over 15 years ago I became a vegetarian and that transformation was not a clean cut-off. I had a guilty pleasure and that was a McDonalds quarter pounder with cheese. Even though I stopped preparing meat at home for me, some of my family still ate meat. It was a few years before I stopped “testing” to see if the turkey was cooked properly. And probably the same amount of time before I stopped eating the McDonalds burger. But I did stop and it’s been at least 12 or 13 years since I’ve eaten meat. I have progressed.

This eating journey continues and it has been almost three months since switching to a vegan diet. I’ve been pretty good so far but I had to go to Vancouver for a day and a half. On the way home we had to take the last ferry to Victoria and I had hardly eaten anything all day. So we decided to get some food and they had veggie burgers which I ordered. While I was eating the burger my daughter questioned is that mayonnaise on your burger. Umm probably but at that moment I was starved so I ate it anyways. In the big picture it is nothing. I’m still progressing.

Progression versus perfection is no more evident than in my yoga journey. If you saw my practice you’d know I’m about as far from perfection as you can get. However, my first teacher was always heard to say that every day there is progression. It may be tiny but it’s there. For me there is no truer statement about my yoga journey. I noticed almost every day some form of progress. In the beginning it was as simple as folding a millimeter closer to my feet to as revealing as the significance of my breath.

My yoga journey is all about progression. I’ve progressed physically, l’ve progressed mentally, and I’ve progressed spiritually. When I started yoga only one of those progressions was intended. The others are the dividends of that progression. There is no perfection anywhere in this journey because if there was this journey would be over.

I will never attain perfection in anything it’s a concept that’s non-existent to me. Progress is much more my speed and it’s definitely attainable.

Progressing is on topic at the beginning of a new year as many of us make health related resolutions. Progression is never a straight line. Sometimes it’s one step forward and another step forward. Sometimes it’s one step forward and two steps back. But if you think about it, you’re one step ahead – never give up.

Be safe

A
—–

Holidays are here and so much is wrong
Of these wars we shall not prolong
Please see this as time to admit
Every person living we must not quit
For if we see our goal is peace
Our unified purpose should surely release
Rise up for the soul of our planets life
Time is here to stop all of this strife
Hope is a word that seeks a response
Eventually, finally, humanity, renascence
Why do we follow those whom push us to kill
Only you have strength don’t bend to their will
Remember, history, this path’s on repeat
Love is hope, hope is love, I know you can see
Defend our humanity which will set us all free

B
—–

A sweeter story there could not be
Yams and syrup from the maple tree
Plants provide sweetness, protein too
Peas provide both and a regular poo

Vegan it’s been for six weeks now
Show me the way I’m just learning how
Books are providing the best advice
I’ll keep at it, but I eat too much rice

Carbs for sure I’ve gained some weight
Who’d a thought I must find restraint
The food I’m finding it tastes so good
Vegan a word I have misunderstood

C
—–

Sing it like Jingle Bells

Outdoor lights
Christmas nights
My daughter put them up (thanks)
They look good and so they should
But worked for just one night

Ohhh

Rain it did
Wet they got
Griswold curse occurred
Spent two hours fixing sours
Now I’m reassured

Ohhh

Shitters full
That’s no bull
Eddie’s on the street
Christmas movies everywhere
My kids it’s on repeat

Ohhh

Lights work great
Stays on late
Shining through the night
Electric bill a buzz kill
It’s worth it what a sight

Whatever you celebrate around this time of year. I wish you all the best.

Ahimsa
Be safe

I learned to fish on the banks of the Saint Lawrence River. In my fishing kit I had rods, lures, floats, lead weights, hooks, and a short heavy stick or log. We lived just a short walk away but sometimes I’d venture into areas that were a long ways away.

In my tackle box was a lure called the red devil. It was red and white with swirly lines and three barbed hooks attached. As you pulled it through the water it would swivel and become noticeable to the fish. Barbed hooks have a reverse hook on it so if you “hook” a fish the fish can’t shake free from the hook. Its intention is to make it almost impossible to shake free without causing lots of damage to the fish.

When we were kids, around 11 years old, I went fishing with my brother and we were fishing quite a long walk from home. We arrived at the banks and we started to set up and get ready to fish. We were apart and I was not aware where my brother was. But I started to fish.

There was lots of long tall grass along those shores, taller than both of us. As I cast my rod back I caught some of that grass and I gave it a yank; then I heard a scream. I had hooked my brother in his right ear. Two of the three hooks were imbedded. One in his ear lobe and the second in his neck behind his ear.

I tried to calm him down as I took a look at the damage I had just caused. I was going to try and pull out the hooks but I couldn’t because the hooks are barbed. They are designed to cause more damage on the way out.

I have to say that my brother is pretty tough as we had about an hour walk home all the while he had a red devil ear ring hanging in his right ear. He was quite a sight with blood dripping down the side of his neck and a matching red lure hanging from his ear.

My memory is a little dark on this one but I do remember when we got home a pair of pliers and a trip to the doctor’s office resolved the issue.

Barbed hooks are now banned in lots of areas in Canada. Not because of the damage you can cause to siblings – ha. More so they are considered inhumane as they are difficult to remove.

The reason I bring this story forward is because I just read the book Vegan for Life by Jack Norris and Virginia Messina. I bought it because it’s written by two dieticians and I want to make sure I eat healthy as I follow this path. I ended up here because of yoga. It’s a long continuing journey that has brought me to places and discoveries that you’d think are not connected. There’s been a lot of connections on this journey – lots.

It’s a bit scary changing to a diet where there is so much noise about not enough protein, B12 requirements, calcium, etc. etc. But the book begins with one of the authors talking about a fishing trip he took with his granddad and dad. As they caught fish they would throw them in an empty cooler and the fish would thrash about as they slowly suffocated to death. He thought we would not treat humans the same way and his dad and granddad were confused by his concern.

I don’t know why but even as a kid I intuitively knew that when I caught a fish I would whack it as hard as I could on the head with the intent of stopping suffering (heavy log).

But I’ve learned a lot while I read that book and I’ve become more aware about how heavy I tread on this earth. I choose to move to a vegan diet because of health reasons but I’m becoming aware there are many other reasons for this choice. I’m happy about this choice and I’m finding I’m learning more and more about who I am. It’s been a long slow education but it’s never too late and it’s never ever over.

Be safe
Ahimsa