Did I write that
Occasionally I look at the back end of this blog to see what you are reading. The system allows me to see that info and from what area of the world you are logging on from. It amazes me how far reaching this little tiny blog goes around this planet.
I started this blog over five years ago and it is interesting that some of you are reading stories about me practicing Ashtanga Yoga as far back as twelve years ago. It’s informational for me because I have changed how I practice. I’m still committed but my commitment is much more aware. There is a certain knowledge and maturity that exists while I’m on my mat that was not there back then. I’ve progressed without intention. And it is reassuring that I’m still getting on my mat and travelling through that set series of asanas. Even as I live with MS and all the baggage that entails.
But I’ve learned to just get on the mat, and see where it takes me. That is different from when I first started. It is slightly nuanced by how I think about what I am accomplishing. The accomplishment is the act itself. It’s not about how many asanas or how long I practice for it’s about I’m here on my mat seeing where today takes me. The rest takes care of itself. I don’t prejudge myself I don’t make assumptions of what I can accomplish today I just start.
It’s an optimistic kinder approach to the process. It’s different because I’ve learned that if I don’t practice; my MS gets worse. Over the years and in my previous stories I’ve written about my discoveries as I continued my practice. The physical benefits are outwardly noticeable. I can prove I’m stronger and more flexible. That my memory is actually available and works. That I’m more calm and more confident in terms of attitudes, opinions, and encounters. I know who I am, I know what works, and that is expressed on and off the mat. It’s a basic knowledge of my own capabilities, how far I go into the practice, and the twelve years of continuing to express myself on my mat. It’s as if my will is generated from a deeper calmer inner peace. It’s a way different feel and that is a learned experience from when I first started.
I believe part of that is due to Pranayama. It is now a totally integrated part of my practice. It’s no longer an afterthought or add on as it was back then. It has become natural, normal, and necessary. I don’t think about it as separate any more it’s part of my practice. My breath is getting deeper, slower, and longer. My lung capacity is definitely improving. It’s another subtlety that is improving without intent. It’s an inner peace that self generates.
So if you read those past stories be aware that I was and am still on a journey. I am still learning and getting more comfortable with where I am on my mat and in life. They are by-products of each other. This all may sound overly deep and somewhat unsubstantiated but twelve years ago I started a process to improve myself physically. It’s a journey that I continue to take and I continue to write about. But as you can see it is much much more than just physical.
And to answer the question: yes I did write that and where I was then is not where I am now. The difference is that now, I believe in the why.
Ahimsa