I find humour in the darkest of places, it’s just how my mind works. It’s my version of optimism, or maybe it’s obfuscation, or maybe it’s just me avoiding the truth.
It’s just plain and simple optimism.
The catheter came out a few days back and I’m happy about that but now I have a long road to regaining control of my bladder.
I felt so good about being without a catheter that I wanted and felt like I could get back on my mat. Just to feel it with my hands and feet would be awesome. But I talked some sense into myself and stayed off. I have to take it easy for about two to four more weeks and at least two months before I can start practicing again – seems like such a long time.
Since the catheter removal I’ve had a constant unstoppable dripping. I am wearing depends and I think I’m going to spend a small fortune (Depends) keeping on top of this constant leakage.
I have started to do male Kegel exercises and it’s somewhat reminiscent of some of my yoga practices. Regaining control can take a while but it can be greatly helped by doing Kegels.
I’m telling this cancer story because I made the decision to talk about this cancer journey and I hope it’s helpful for anyone else that goes through it. I understand that talking about cancer is not what I intended this blog to be about. So I have categorized the cancer stories as “If the word begins with C” so if you see that category you’ll know what it’s about and you can avoid reading it if you prefer.
I will get back to stories about MS and Yoga when they come to mind. In fact I’ve been quite surprised by how quiet MS has been.
I did manage to freak out the nurse, while in hospital, on my second walk. I had a walker which just basically slides on the floor while I push and hold on. The first walk, about six hours after surgery, I made it to the room door and back.
The second day we ventured out into the hallway and down the hall we went. I’m holding onto the walker and the nurse has her arm around my waist. My knee pops forward and I’m on my way to the floor. She grabs me and makes sure I don’t hit it.
She says “what the hell was that” (coulda been heck but if it were me I’d a said hell or something worse). Oh yeh I have MS and sometimes my knee pops forward but that has not happened for a while. I think it scared the bejesus out of her. She held on tight the way back.
It scared me a bit too because it’s rare that this happens. Even though she caught me, I thought about what would happen if this happens again while no one is holding me – it sure required the muscles where my surgery was. But I’ve got stronger and walking on my own is not an issue. In the back of my mind I’m cognizant of the knee popping potential during this recovery.
But there is a huge elephant in the room; the biopsy results. It will determine the next steps in this recovery and I use that word with great optimism.
But as I said it’s all quiet on the MS front and for that, I am thankful.
Take care