My prostate was removed and I was sent home after a two night stay at the hospital with a catheter and bag attached to my leg for 10 days. And that started the long wait to find out if cancer was contained within the prostate or had it spread.
Other than telling my kids, the waiting period is the hardest part of this entire process for two reasons. First reason was I went down some deep rabbit holes thinking about what would I do if cancer was spreading. The whole waiting process percolates day after day.
The second reason was one night I could not sleep because of back pain in my lower left side. It’s 1:30 am I’m sat up in my bed and wrote the I’d rather eat Johnson post. And I posted it a couple of hours later. I realize that post to be somewhat disjointed and confusing as I was feeling fatalistically resigned to bad results – even though I said I thought I was going to be ok. And I was feeling ill. I was slipping into a dark place. But it was about to get much darker.
When I got up my back was a little sore and I started to get a fever. Took a pill and the fever went down. That night I went to bed feeling chills and also a temperature. Fever went up and I did not sleep well. In the morning my fever went back down and I thought all was ok but I could hardly walk. I think this was due to the fever affecting my MS.
My wife said I think you should go to the hospital I’m going to call an ambulance. I ended up being able to make it to the car and off we went.
I spent most of the day in the emergency ward getting tests and the final test, a CT scan with contrast of my kidneys discovered a lodged stone that was infected. I was admitted and next morning the stone was removed.
However; that night in the hospital, before surgery, my temperature continued to rise. My temp hit 41.3 degrees Celsius. I don’t remember a thing about what happened that night. I woke up in the morning completely naked, catheter installed, covered from head to toe with wet towels and ice packs. I have no idea what happened, I don’t know where I am, I am confused.
I’m first in line for surgery.
Stone removal is successful and back to my room I go. I spend the next six days in hospital while they fill me intravenously with antibiotics.
On the last day, the hospital doctor provides me with three reports. One about what happened, a discharge report, and pathology of my prostate removal.
In a previous conversation with this doctor I told her I was still waiting for results of the biopsies. She said leave it with me I’ll find out for you.
The first report said that I had sepsis, rigours, and hallucinations. Sepsis is very dangerous and was the cause of my mom’s passing. I think I came close to dying that night. That’s quite a statement for me to make and no one ever said that to me but the attention that was being paid to me, conversations I had with nurses, and what I know about sepsis gave me that impression. I never asked the actual question.
The second report was about what I was to do next, a prescription, future blood work requisitions, and to follow up with my urologist.
The third report was the results of my prostate removal. She had tracked them down. She had underlined all the important parts. Tears are pouring down my face as I read – it’s all good news – tears of relief. I kinda felt light as if a weight had fallen off as I exhaled. I hugged the bejesus out of her. She is an awesome doctor and I believed her to be my guardian angel throughout my stay at the hospital. She’s a powerful force that I believe played a part in saving this scurvy knave. I’ve met some incredible people in the last little while. Infuckingcreadible!
I’m home again and my PSA will be monitored – prostates can grow back – who new. If I could only figure out how to grow back Myelin.
I hope I will not have to post about Cancer for a while – touch wood – just tapped my head.
I suspect my next none-Moon post will be about returning to my mat.
Take care.