MS Journey #36

Cane and able

I just met with my neurologist; it’s been about a year since we last met. We usually meet every six months but I had to cancel my last appointment due to another stuck kidney stone and a four day stay in hospital. Removal of my prostate is a gift that keeps on giving(1).

We talked about that and how it adds to my confusion about what is happening to me. MS is always a consideration when something is happening to my body and I’m trying to figure out if it’s MS or something else. I’ve had MS for 26 years and I should know by now how to figure out the difference. But I can’t and that happens to be one of the most frustrating things about MS – at least for me. And then she reminded me that I’m also getting older – oh yea I forgot about that part.

We discussed the recent MRI of my brain, cervical and thoracic spine – it was a long MRI. The results indicated my MS is stable. Stable is a funny word to use but that is medically where I am. I asked where does that place me on the MS spectrum. The answer was “probably Secondary Progressive” – does not sound stable to me – she said she did not like the word progressive – me either.

So what can I do. That is a question I thought I knew the answer to, but my optimistic mind thought maybe she’d come up with an answer. And she did; exercise, exercise, exercise. It’s a good way to help my neurones.

While we talked I mentioned that my yoga practice was at a standstill. She suggested a non-profit gym in the area for people with neurological conditions such as MS. This would be a specific program designed for me using specific equipment. So I have more motivation to get my practice back or look into the gym option or both. Gotta help my neurones.

After our conversation she did a physical exam some of which includes a foot scrape (Babinski reflex) and a walking test. She suggested that I get a cane. She said not as a weight support but more as another way to sense or connect with the floor. I had not thought about a cane in that way before and it makes a lot of sense – ha. I’m barefooted most of the time and I often slide my hand against a wall, if available, when walking. They both provide more input about balance.

So I followed up on her suggestion and I went and got a cane. I went to a local mobility store and picked out one with the help of a knowledgeable sales lady.

Buying a cane is not a big deal it’s what it represents. To me it means a different phase or a progression (there’s that word again). But also outs me and I know that sounds dumb and ridiculous or maybe even vain – but it’s how my mind works – right or wrong.

However I’m happy I got it and this was not planned but, I used it a couple of days later. I went to Beyond Van Gogh: The Immersive Experience Exhibit. It was an awesome experience with all his paintings projected on the walls and floor. And movement was added to his paintings in a skilled and artful way – it was quite amazing. The walls and floor were in constant movement and without the cane I would have lost my balance and hit the floor.

It was dumb and ridiculous of me to think that way and my vanity is still in tact – I probably think this story’s about me don’t I 🎼 – ha. But I do look awesome with my new blue sporty looking cane – ha.

Be kind
Ahimsa

(1) My connection of prostate removal and all the kidney stones and infections I’ve had since are not scientifically or medically proven. It’s my own conclusion as I never had either issue before my prostate was removed. However it is common that people with MS are susceptible to Urinary Tract Infections.