Balance
In a conversation with my neurologist she explained to me that balance is controlled by four things. The bottom of your feet, sensors in your joints, your eyes, and your ears. With my feet and sensors not working; my balance she said, is controlled from the neck up. Sight and my ears is all I got. When you take the light away I’m basically on the floor.
Standing asanas start off the Ashtanga yoga primary series which for MS’ers is fraught with concern. Standing asanas can be difficult from a strength and balance point of view. It’s something I had not thought about before I started yoga but it wasn’t long before I realized my legs were not strong enough to do all the standing asanas in the traditional sequence. My teacher realized it too; he left out certain standing asanas and taught them to me later when I had developed enough strength.
For me developing enough strength took a long time but it’s all relative; what else was I doing. I can remember having a conversation with one of my teachers and she said in about a year you’ll be strong enough. At the time I thought: in a year!? It sounded like such a long time but it really isn’t. We all want results now but I have found that the journey is partly what yoga is about. Progress is slow but it’s progress.
You learn other things on the journey that are not strength related – you’re not wasting your time. From my perspective Ashtanga is a gentle, peaceful, powerful art form. It takes time which was hard for me because I like deadlines and results. But I finally figured it out. There are no deadlines and the result is the practice. The practice is mine and belongs to me only. I say this not as ownership but as a uniquely me practice. I did not get here on my own; well placed words of wisdom and support from my teacher is in part what got me to this place.
The other issue for MS’ers about standing asanas is balance and is something that I can’t avoid. Most standing asanas in the primary series require you to use both feet. Even on two feet I sometimes have difficulty with my balance. Two asanas require you to stand on one foot. It’s a given that the one footed asanas I can’t do without assistance. Either I have to hold onto a wall or get assistance from my teacher.
Also Ashtanga yoga requires you to gaze at a particular point as you hold the asana this is called dristi. As an example dristi for Utkatasana (standing with bent knees, arms pointing towards the ceiling,hands together) is your thumbs; but I look past my thumbs and pick a spot on the ceiling. It helps me keep my balance. A while back I went to the Carribbean for vacation and I looked forward to practicing outside as the sun was rising. I soon found out that I had no fixed non moving point to focus on, so I kept losing my balance. Clouds move. I had to move closer to a tree but coconuts drop – fortunately not while I practiced. However; later that day, as we laid out soaking up the sun one just missed my friend – they land with quite a thud.
Balance for me has not seen the improvement I hoped. I thought I would have been able to do asanas like Utthitahasta Padangusthasana and Ardhabaddha Padmottasana which both are one footed asanas. I’ve been trying for a long time but it’s a barrier that I have not been able to pass through. I still try every practice – I have not given up.
Each of us are unique and balance may not be an issue for you like it is for me; however if it is, you may be able to pass through this barrier that I have not been able to – yet.