All shook up
I was / am looking to solve an unsolvable problem. How do I make myself feel better. MS has such a comprehensive approach to messing with my mind and body. We MS’ers all learn to live with it but it would be awesome if we didn’t have to. What a dream that would be.
In pursuit of that dream I’ve tried CBD, prescription drugs to make my legs work better, participated in research projects, prescribed drugs to slow the progress, tried out different naturopathic methods, paleo type diet which included eating animal organs, veganism, yoga, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember. Yoga is the only one that has shown results.
But the topic of this blog is veganism. Eleven months ago I took an opportunity to eat like a vegan. Yesterday I stopped. For eleven months I was strict about eating only plant based food. I identified as a vegan.
When I went into a coffee shop I’d order a coffee with plant based milk and I ask if they had anything vegan to eat. Sometimes I’d get that look; what? Sometimes there’d be that chocolate brownie that looks like it’s been there a while. And sometimes I’d hear everything is vegan. At restaurants I figured out a way to eat vegan even if they had nothing vegan on the menu. We have some vegan restaurants where I live but I don’t hang with a bunch of vegans. I’m singular in my company.
I do the cooking in the house so when I became vegan it was relatively easy. My wife and I were / are both vegetarians. So most nights we’d eat the same thing. On others if I made salmon for my wife I make falafel for me surrounded with a bunch of vegetables. I would say that my wife’s diet was somewhat impacted by my choice to become vegan. But she still ate healthy.
Pizza night was the most depressing for me as it’s kinda a family tradition to have pizza on Saturday night and I have a pizza oven. Family comes over but my pizza without cheese sucks. And it’s not fun sitting at dinner while watching pizza with cheese being devoured.
For about two months now I’ve been evaluating if a vegan diet has provided any noticeable benefits. Specifically is my MS any better. The answer is a definite no. In fact I’d say it’s worse but that may not be the food it could just be normal MS progression.
Veganism is not just about the food we eat it’s also about the planet we live on. Veganism is a form of Ahimsa which translated means to cause no harm to anything; animal, insect, human, myself. I sign off most of my posts with that word in which I still believe. I did not start my vegan diet to save the planet I did it more self centeredly for me.
So yesterday morning my daughter asked if I could take my granddaughter to school – sure. Near that school is a coffee shop / bakery and my wife asked me if I would pick up a muffin for her – also sure.
As I stared into the class display cabinet with the many delicious looking treats I picked a carrot muffin. This is not a vegan friendly bakery. There are no vegan options for me. If I want a muffin I’d have to drive about three kilometres to get a vegan muffin. And it was at that very moment I stopped being vegan and got two muffins. It just seemed ridiculous to me. I now know that being vegan is not helping me – what am I doing. It all came to a head as I stared into the glass display case.
Almost 24 hours after that muffin I’m up at four in the morning (got shook up by a 4.1 earthquake believe it or not) writing this post and I’m wondering if I have betrayed the vegan community.
I don’t believe I have. I just tried something that did not work. I still believe in Ahimsa and I do my best in that regard.
Yoga helps
Ahimsa
Be kind