That’s me.
I wrote this short story a long time ago but never posted it – there’s probably a good reason for that. I was going through all the stories I’ve written but never posted – I have lots of them and I was trying to clean them out. However I thought this story was one of the goofy things I did in my early days of Ashtanga so here ya go.
Counting Syndrome
Five breaths, eight breaths, ten breaths, 15 breaths.
I have counting syndrome. It’s what happens when you count everything and man I was counting everything. It started about three or four months into learning Ashtanga.
I was making oatmeal one morning and realized I was counting the stirs. Who counts stirs? That was me and I did this for months – not the oatmeal the counting part. It’s the weirdest thing about how my Ashtanga practice was infiltrating my life.
I’m wondering if this happens to anyone else. Practicing often and counting breaths all the time worked it’s way into all my daily thoughtless mundane tasks. I guess it’s part of my overly active mind. It has to be doing something.
One day I was walking to the grocery store and I was up to 25 steps when I realized I was counting my steps – what a doofus. This should be classified as a new disorder and I’ve been trying to come up with a name for it. It would have made sense and worthwhile if I was counting in Sanskrit- at least I would have been learning something.
I even caught myself counting brush strokes as I was brushing my teeth one morning – this is getting out of control. And one of the things I was always counting, was stairs – it was almost guaranteed I would count any stairs that I en-count-erd.
And the name of this disease is Count Von Asana Syndrome(CVAS) ah ah ahhhh.
Be safe.
Lol