My Journey (Part 1 of 4)
The gift.
As I start on this series talking about my desire to teach it’s important to remember that I was diagnosed with MS at age 41 and I did not discover yoga until the age of 58. I’m pretty much toast – it’s denouement. Yoga changed that perspective and taught me that there is something I can do for myself, the MS community, and beyond. It changed my outlook on life and the possibilities that were still attainable.
Yoga gave me purpose – to me that is profound. If I could help just one person feel that way – that would be profounder! (New word).
At best my journey to teach has been difficult. I got it in my head that I could do this and help the MS community discover what I had learned about the many benefits of Ashtanga. What I discovered is there is so much more to teaching yoga than what I first thought, especially Ashtanga Yoga.
My neurologist was indirectly responsible for me taking up yoga. And after several years she was directly responsible for kickstarting me to teach. We meet every six months and we would talk about lots of things but yoga always made its way into our conversations and one time she suggested that I teach.
I’m not your typical teacher wannabe; I’m on the other side of the hill, my practice looks unrefined, certain asanas I can’t do, and I have MS with all the trappings that includes. But I have consistently worked hard at my practice and I’m more in tune with who I am and the internal power I have developed because of yoga. I feel I have something to give and I honestly believe I can teach yoga to people with or without MS. I wouldn’t say I had a calling but I definitely thought I could make a difference in someone’s life. Might be a strong statement but my teacher(s) have made a big difference in my life.
So just because I want to teach does not mean I can just go out there and teach. What do I do next? I talk to my teacher and tell her that I want to teach yoga. We discuss about what, why and how. I have no idea but my initial goal is to get the MS community involved in yoga. She suggests I try different types of yoga and suggests other teachers.
I maintain my Ashtanga practice but I also sign up for other types of yoga that my teacher recommended. I tried some led yoga classes that was based on what the teacher wanted to teach that day – it could be shoulders, hips, or whatever. I did three classes on afternoons. I also tried yin yoga which I attended at night. Both these classes were led and I have discovered I don’t like led classes. I’m not particularly fond of Ashtanga led classes either.
I have a decision to make; what got me here? I think if my first experience with yoga was hot yoga, or a led yoga class, or meditation I would not have continued. Notwithstanding great teachers it’s Ashtanga that got me here.
Ashtanga is steeped in tradition especially when it comes to who teaches it. And what I was about to do was to break that tradition. I was going to ask my teacher to teach me how to teach.
YES!
My teacher said YES to my apprenticeship which later on that day sent me into a happy dance while making dinner with music blasting away. My reaction to this was great joy which surprised me because I’m usually reserved in my reactions to most events in my life. I really wanted to teach and was surprised and incredibly happy that my teacher believed in me and would help me in this endeavour.
It’s perfectly traditional for Rachel, an authorized Ashtanga teacher, to take on an apprentice. It’s not necessarily acceptable for me to ask – but I’m so happy I did.
I look at this as an incredible gift and opportunity that has provided me with a sense of purpose; something I thought was past me. I am so excited and proud of how far I have come since my first yoga class but the road to teaching is full of highs and lows and I’m mindful of the responsibility I have to Rachel and her students. She has put her trust in me – I don’t want to screw up to the point where I harm someone – one of my biggest fears.
In my next “To Teach” posts (weekly) I will discuss how it went and where I am with teaching at present day.
Ahimsa.