What’s been missed.
It’s 4:30 Tuesday morning. There’s the usual glass of water I left out on the counter. I reach for the glass and take a swig. I open the cupboard and grab a bottle of Advil extra strength and swallow one. Yesterday morning was my first day back at the yoga studio.
I climbed up the 29 stairs and I had to wait for the door to be opened; I did not realize there was a door bell. I was let in and the hug represented all that has transpired, what’s been forgotten, and all that we’ve missed. All I could see were Rachel’s eyes as the mask was still present. It’s been approximately 15 months since I’ve been in a place like this.
I have to say I was a bit nervous about coming here. My myopic view has been developed over the last long while. I’m strangely worried about coming back – and I’ve been unable to figure out why.
Before Rachel has even adjusted me she points out that my feet are not far enough back during my first sun salutation. It’s like 15 months never happened. I’m loving it already.
The room is warm which I’m not used to as I’ve been practicing at a much lower temperature. I knew this was how it was going to be but I’m doing ok in this normal for a shala temperature.
It feels surreal as there are others hear practicing with me – it feels very strange. Some I don’t know and some I’ve not seen for a long time. There’s more space between the mats as the protocol calls for fewer participants. Even though it’s a surrealistic scene I’m feeling good and happy to be back amongst friends.
Since closure I’ve gone through many ups and downs in practice, and in life. I’m sure that this is not unique. What is ubiquitous is the shared experience. It did not happen to me it happened to all of us.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, thinking too much. Taking one and a half hours out of most days to just be and practice is a commitment that I was able to maintain during this whole shutdown. I’m proud of that achievement and that says something about what practice means to me.
It’s not long before I realize what I’ve been missing and the affect on me is palpable. Even without the assists my practice is already deeper and more focused. I’m loving being here with this little bit of normalcy.
Rachel adjusts me, twists and binds me throughout my practice – it’s been a long long time since my body was put into these much deeper positions. It feels good, really really good. I’m so so happy to be back. And back is the main reason for the Advil this morning – it’s sore but a good sore. It’s awesome that someone knows me and my body well enough to push me where I need to go. I love it.
My practice was maintained during this whole time but in this very first return I’m realizing that I was easy on myself during that time. The adjustments and the assists took me deeper and twisted me further than where I’ve been in a long long time. I loved every second of it and knowing that it was Rachel; my friend from the very beginning of this yoga journey, whom ushered me back, was more than words can describe. The hug said it all.
A human connection that I very much missed.
Be safe
Beautiful. We all need a little of that normalcy that has been absent in our respective lives. And we ALL need other humans to challenge us and to rejoice with. So happy for you, David.