What are you thinking
The last practice that I felt strong, light, and energetic in was on the last day of the Mysore challenge and that was January 27. It was a timely acknowledgment of the effort that I managed to muster. After that challenge my unspoken goal was to continue the modern day challenge which is practice every day except moon days(1) and Sunday’s. I was feeling optimistic and full of great expectations (a delightful Dickensonian delusion), but that unspoken goal lasted all of four days.
I was doing ok until one morning I got my foot stuck in my underwear while I was putting it on. While on one leg it caused me to lose my balance and I crashed into the wall injuring my shoulder. It was not a big deal I missed just a few days of practice but it was the start of a lot of missed practices.
There were other injuries and circumstances that caused me to miss practice this year. It’s been difficult to maintain a consistent regular practice. I have to say that I don’t practice every day but since the challenge consistency has been elusive. And at this point in my journey; yoga is not about conquering that difficult asana, or the amount of times I practice. It may have been that way at some point in this journey but that has long since passed.
Tim Miller said that “yoga is more about subtraction than addition”. And in my case I’m doing a lot of subtraction these days. But I don’t think he was talking about how many asanas or how many times I practice. For me it’s what or better yet, what does not go on in my head. The less that goes on in there the better. The more I subtract the better it gets. As the layers wear away I get closer to zero.
Learning or understanding yoga is a long haul. It’s not just a bunch of asanas tied together with breath and movement. Asanas are just one of the eight limbs of yoga. And saying that does not mean I have a plan to delve into each of the eight limbs. Yoga at this time is just a mirror that I look into that has helped me strip down what is happening around me. I absorb more carefully, react more thoughtfully, observe more respectfully.
But I continue to be a work in progress.
I have tried to sit and meditate and to date I have yet to be successful. Maybe it’s something I’ve yet to discover or maybe it’s something I’ve already discovered; I have no plans. For me the best practice is when I don’t think. I just move from asana to asana in a relaxed and peaceful way and to me that is my meditation.
Somethings tend not to happen when you want them too. They have a way of happening when not planned and that has happened many times for me on this yoga journey. And on one occasion I did sit after practice to give thoughts to someone who had just passed. It was not an attempt at meditation it was just my attempt at honouring that person. I talk about it in my post Once in a lifetime practice (Yoga Journey #5). I posted about how I arrived at the most relaxed moment I’ve ever experienced. It was totally unexpected and an experience I will never forget. It’s kinda funny that not having any expectations provides the greatest results – how can I fail.
The French philosopher Rene Descartes said “I think therefore I am”. Alternatively, if I don’t think, am I not? Can I exist without thinking. I have, I do, I am.
Be safe
(1) Full moon and new moon days are considered rest days. Most months there is one of each.