Motivation
This morning on my mat I started to think about motivation. Why am I here (studio). When the thought hit me I said to myself just bookmark this and write about it later – it’s an interesting topic.
I bookmarked it but I continued to think about it as it weaved its way into my practice.
And as I write this post I’m thinking what if I was a character in a cartoon. Like the ones in the newspaper with thought bubbles over their heads. You know the ones with small bubbles coming from the head gradually getting bigger as they get to a large bubble with the thoughts written inside. Umm…..
So I’m in a yoga class and I look up and my bubble says “why am I here” I bring my gaze down and look at the persons bubble next to me and it says “whoa my mat stinks, why am I here”. I rotate to the person on the other side and that bubble says “this guy farts, why am I here”. I look further down the row and I see a bubble that says “loooooking good, why am I here”. I then look across from me and that bubble is blank. I look down at that person and it’s me. It’s a manifestation of why I’m here.
I love being with these other “why am I here’s” but just to get here takes motivation. How do I motivate myself just to show up.
To be brutally honest at this very moment in time fear is the driving force behind why I’m here. I really don’t want to lose my ability to get on a mat and work through the asanas of the primary series. It represents so many positives in my life.
The fear part is mostly about losing my ability to practice. The saying “use it or lose it” applies here. My ability to work through these asanas requires maintenance which has been intermittent for far too long. Yoga is part of my being and as I’ve said previously on this blog, yoga gives me purpose. I don’t want to loose that purpose and I am aware that I have another purpose; for example, putting out the garbage – ha.
Motivation exists in my head and no where else – it’s just will power. A reason that compels me to show up.
So…
I’m about ten pounds over normal practice weight – motivate!
I’m tired and sluggish – motivate!
I can’t bind on some simple asanas – motivate!
Multiple Sclerosis is getting worse – motivate!
I don’t want to loose it – motivate!
Purpose – motivate!
Putting out the garbage – ugh
I have stated before on this blog that yoga is a selfish pleasure that I do for myself. I enjoy it, I look forward to it, I desire it.
Practice itself motivates me, life motivates me, love motivates me.
The hardest part of my practice is to just start – just get on the mat. That is the most difficult part. The 45 minutes between waking up and out the door, that’s the hardest part.
It’s serendipitous that the reason I’m here is because of a 30 day challenge being run at the studio. It happens to be perfect timing. It’s the challenge I need to motivate me to just show up and get on my mat.
Once on the mat I’ll get through whatever I get through – at least I’m here. My bubble will be blank at some point.
And on the way out I did look at teachers bubble and it said “I’m here to help, I love being here, I can help clear out those bubbles”.
Ha.
Be safe
The 30 day challenge started on November 1st and ended November 30. It required attendance five days out of every seven. I made it through one and a half weeks. On the fifth day I was able to get through full primary for the first time in a long time. My ego thought I could continue full primary every day after that (dumb ass). However on the third day of the second week my inside voice kept saying only do half, only do half, only do half but did I listen; no! and I pushed to finish full primary.
A couple of hours later I started to get pain in my right lower back – I’d obviously gone to far. I often get sore but this was pain. I did not practice for a few days after that which kicked me out of the challenge.
My thought bubble should have said “I’m a dumb ass”.
Love it!!!