Yoga Journey #35

Who you talking two

There’s an urban myth that if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump out. But if you put it in there when the water is tepid and slowly turn up the heat until it boils; the frog will stay there until it dies.

Most mornings when I wake up I feel like while I was sleeping, somebody stood over my bed and hit me with a bag of hammers – several times. Joints, muscles, bones, even my mind is sore. It’s just a combination of ailments but most definitely it has to do with age. Maybe I need a new bed one that defies age or at least has an invisible deflector shield.

I can’t understand why my practice sucks. This is what I tell myself but the answer is easy. It’s pure and simple – it’s my age. Is my acceptance of that an excuse to not push harder to get through those difficult parts in practice. Am I looking for a reason. I realize that I’m not physically the same person. As I’ve been beaten up so to speak and my body is the result of all those years of wear and tear and this, an especially difficult year.

Yoga in part is physical, it’s work and it’s a way to see who I am. I’ve had some awesome times on my mat that were physically rewarding but the best times are when I’m free. And for me freedom exists when the physical part is somewhat non-consuming. If I’m thinking about how hard practice is or if it’s hurting then I’m not free.

These days after all the crap that has happened this year I think I’m doing ok on my mat but I feel I should be doing better. I want to get back to where my physical practice does not consume me. Which will enable the real goal of peace while I practice. I enjoy the physical demands of my practice which provided me a sense of accomplishment but was also my path to peace.

Age is a bit of a tricky conversation at least the one I’m having with myself. I still feel that if I push hard enough that I’ll get back to where I was before. And part of me says why do you need to push so hard, why do you need to get back there – just beee man. Is it denial or is my practice adjusting to reality. When do I realize or accept my predicament. We all get here and we see what we see.

This age conversation arrives before I’m ready to have it. OK Dave we’ll have the conversation when you’re ready ok, ok thanks – ha. It is one that I would probably not be having at all if it weren’t for yoga. I have something to measure myself against. I can’t bind in some asanas that used to be easy and that is very noticeable in my practice.

But I have to give myself credit ‘cause I would have never noticed anything if I weren’t practicing at all. I’d be sitting in a pot of boiling water.

And the conversation continues.

Take care