Yoga Journey #39

A found friend

Between the age of 16 to around 20 there was a time.

I have this friend that I have not seen since I was around 19 years old. He had long hair, played drums in a band, smoked pot, dropped acid, went to every concert that came into town, he absolutely loved music. He saw Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon tour in the seventies. He said it was the most amazing concert he has ever seen.

He quit high school in his final year and went to work in a warehouse. He went out for beers almost every night. Some would call him lost, maybe undecided is a better word.

The band was ok but needed a lot more practice and commitment. There was discussion about going professional meaning giving up jobs and trying to survive doing gigs. He thought that he was not good enough and that was an unpredictable way to make a living. He quit the band, or the band broke up, or the band quit him. He took what he thought was a safer traditional way to make his way through life.

He got an apartment two doors down from a friend he worked with. It was a corner apartment with two walls that were shared with the hallway. His friend was a Greco Roman wrestler whom one night, around 3:00am got into a fight in the hallway. The two of them almost came through the wall which just happens to be his bedroom. It scared the bejesus out of him and he jumped out of bed, put some clothes on to see what was going on. His friend and a wrestling buddy were practicing in the hallway. They were both drunk.

During the World Series he walked the two doors down with a two-four case of beer. His friend had a recently opened bottle of Peach Schnapps and before the night was over they had finished both, along with a couple of spliffs. It was a weeknight and the next day they both showed up for work on time. Doing this was considered a badge of honour. It was a life that was unsustainable.

One night he was sitting alone at a bar and a beautiful woman(1) whom he did not know came up to him, came very close to his face, almost nose to nose. Looked him straight in the eyes and said, “is this how you want to spend the rest of your life” and walked away.

It did not happen overnight but my friend was deeply stunned by what she said to him. It was an incredibly lucid and profound question. It shook him to his core. He slowly changed his focus, worked hard, got married, had kids. He went to night school, got his high school equivalency, took Computer Sciences, and worked his way up the corporate ladder.

In the prime of his life, early forties, he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. He was an IT Director in a large international company running multi million dollar projects – prospects were very good. That diagnosis changed everything. But he didn’t give up, he kept at it, and played down his diagnosis. What else could he do he was married and had kids.

He eventually had to quit working. He had disability insurance that allowed him and his family to maintain their lifestyle. I shudder to think what would have happened if he did not. His kids are grown and live their own lives. Currently he has three grandkids with another grandson due any day.

If that story sounds familiar it is because it’s mine. I’m the found friend and I started to find him at yoga ten years ago. Before my life happened – now is then. I’m where I used to be before this all started. I am now the person I was. That may sound baffling or confusing but it makes perfect sense to me.

Life happens while you’re trying to figure it out and before you know it there you are. Ten years ago I discovered Ashtanga yoga, a disciplined accessible form that has subtly changed my life again. It has provided a vehicle for me to explore who I am and provided insight about all those moments that have happened. It has also improved and resolved some of my MS symptoms. It has been quite a journey that continues and now I travel through life a little more consciously.

Yoga is not a panacea but throughout the last ten years I am evidence of what is possible. This blog has over three years of stories about how it has helped me physically, mentally, spiritually, and helped with issues due to MS. A most beneficial learning experience.

I never saw that woman again but the impact of that moment stays with me to this day – I think about it often.

I have found me, that lost friend, and the time is now – funnily enough, it has always been now.

Be safe

(1) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But that beholder beheld that thought because of where he was in his life. Why did it mater that the person was beautiful. A low self esteem is a road to underestimation. Would it have made any difference if the person was not beautiful. As I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder.